Nothing Romantic
by littlehutt
Summary: Lois reflects on some comments made by Maxima in episode 8.04. Clois, Lois's POV.


That damn, obscene, crazy, red-haired nymphomaniac. Why had she opened her big face-sucking mouth and implied nonsensical things about Lois's relationship with Clark? A deep connection between them? Something profound linking them? Puh-lease. As Lois had put it herself, there was nothing romantic between Lois and Clark. Really, that stupid psychopath, what a nerve!

There was absolutely nothing remotely romantic between Lois and Clark. Who would call the way she phoned him up every morning to bug him about being late 'romantic'? Who would describe as 'romantic' the way Clark always sighed and wearily replied he was almost there and that he was never late for work anyway so could she please stop harassing him? Only a lunatic, futuristic white trash lady would, honestly.

There was nothing romantic about their incessant bickering, regarding just about anything. That was what normal people, with normal clothes and normal strength, would call 'tiring', not 'romantic'. Just the other day, they were arguing over the last cookie from a batch sent by Martha to wish them luck for their team work (yeah, right, if luck had had anything to do with it, Smallville wouldn't be working at the desk just across hers). Well, actually, Lois was the one arguing over it: Clark just sat there, sighing and rolling his eyes, with a look of utter despair on his face. Fighting over _a cookie_: hardly what Lois would call a lovey-dovey gesture.

Smallville would always do that anyway: sigh and roll his eyes and just wait for her to be done with whatever she was saying, hammering, growling, or blabbering about. Sure, sometimes he would add to that a smile, or a disapproving nod, or a naïve and questioning look; still, the basics never changed. He would sigh and roll his eyes when she took a few sips of his morning coffee before handing it back to him as if nothing had happened, and even though she had gotten used to this little routine, she always expected him to comment on the fact that she could just as well go and buy her own cup of coffee and stop sharing her microbes with him. She still didn't get why he didn't protest: if it had been the other way around, Lois would have told him to go to hell and come back with his own hot beverage. Because, honestly, there was nothing romantic about sharing microbes with Clark.

In real, normal life, mixing saliva over the rim of a cup of coffee wasn't exactly kissing, sorry dear delusional red-haired weirdo. It was really nothing like the disgusting kiss Lois had witnessed, horrified, between Smallville and the skank. In a friggin' elevator, what's more. Talk about behaving yourself! Really, some people! And she wasn't shocked because it was Clark in that elevator, sucking faces with a prostitute straight out from a low-budget science-fiction movie. No. It was because the whole thing, the whole idea of it, was revolting: you just didn't do that kind of stuff at work. Her moral sense had been offended. That's right, her moral sense. Take that Smallville! The poor boy had come running out of the elevator, desperate to explain his gross encounter, as if Lois had given a damn about his love life. _As if_. He could have cheap sex at his workplace anytime he felt like it, with as many women he wanted, she didn't care. No sir. Not a bit. Oh and by the way, there was nothing romantic about the way she had wanted to verbally abuse and hit Clark repeatedly when she had discovered him bare-chested, smooching some unknown girl, whose eyes Lois would have loved to scratch out.

It was just that... Smallville was so gullible sometimes, you wondered how he managed to survive even just one day in a big city like Metropolis. That was also what was fun and fresh about him: he could be so naïve, Lois loved to nag him. But some people could (and would) easily take advantage of this characteristic, and she was sure the red-haired nymphomaniac hadn't had any qualms about it, manipulating him all the way. Otherwise, how could she have managed to get past the farm boy's inhibitions? That was precisely to prevent those kinds of bad things from happening to Clark that Lois had decided to take him under her wing as soon as his first day at the Daily Planet. So that no one would walk all over him. Another display of her moral sense, just that. Nothing romantic about wanting to protect a naïve farm boy. Nope. Just plain simple moral duty.

After all, they were barely friends, so lovers? Completely far-fetched. Sure, he had been there for her when she had broken up with Ollie, comforting her, listening to her even more than usual, and so had she when Lana had left him "for his own good" (really, what was that suppose to mean?! No wonder the poor boy had looked so lost and heart-broken). Okay, they also shared a few laughs more often than not. And yeah, they had each other's back (except when Smallville inexplicably disappeared for god knows where, but he always seemed to be back on time for savin... helping her out). They made a good team. They made a _great_ team. But as journalists. Professionals without benefits.

Their little routine just proved how much they felt at ease with each other, as partners. Not in the marital sense mind you! More like... like partners in crime. Actually, they often had to take some risks and break the law in order to publish the best stories. And they were pretty good at that too, as a duo. She remembered that time in a fancy hotel when they had had to pretend they were a married couple on their honeymoon, so that they could break into the manager's office and prove his hotel had just been a cover for the mafia to launder money. Lois still giggled at the thought of it: it had been so much fun, being under cover with Smallville! And she could still hear Clark and herself laugh out loud when Chloe had honestly remarked they were uncannily credible as hubby and wifey. Mmmm... On second thoughts it wasn't such a good example.

Now Lois's head was hurting. Why did Chloe have to say such things? Why did she have to echo the red-haired hooker from outer-space? And why, oh why was Lois thinking about those silly comments over and over again? She had work to do! Important work! More important than reflecting on the possibility of her romantic connection with Clark! Wait, _possibility_?

She let out a frustrated growl and violently crumpled a piece of paper, just for the sake of it. A quiet laugh came from across her desk:

"Are you okay Lois? Or are you having writer's block again?"

Lois shot a menacing glare at a very amused Clark and sharply replied:

"I'm perfectly _fine_, Smallville, thank you. Mind your own business, will you? Don't you have anything better to do than get under my skin?"

"You've got me under your skin? I didn't know Lois. Does this mean you'll get me something for Valentine's day?" he replied with a boyish grin.

"You wish. Now get over yourself and stop bothering me! There, is it better? Did you understand me correctly this time?"

Clark didn't answer back but grinned innocently again and went back to his computer screen. Lois let out another grumble but couldn't help the smile that spread on her face. The way she was blushing a little, the way she was beaming inside... Damn. She was doomed.

There really was something romantic between Lois and Clark.


End file.
